Vampires: fictional creatures known primarily as blood-sucking immortals who live at night and used to be humans before they were changed into monsters. But as with any myth, each story they are featured in has their own way of defining them. Sometimes the vampires can turn into bats or sleep in coffins. Some can be killed with wooden stakes while other stories denounce that idea as a myth in their own fictional universe. The question I pose today is not based off of which rendition got it right, since there is no “right” when dealing with fiction, but instead, I would like to deduce as objectively as possible: if you were to be a vampire, which of these seven pop culture vampires would be the best... and which would be the worst?
Number 8
The Passage (Book/TV Show)
Vampires from The Passage rank the lowest. If you were to become this kind of vampire, you would lose all sense of self and become a true predator to the rest of human kind.
Transition: Scientists attempted to create a drug for longevity, but caused a highly infectious virus instead, vampirism. The infection can be carried to new hosts by bats or from a vampire bite.
Relationship with blood: They hunt for blood constantly without hesitancy or morals.
Appearance: Veiny, grey skin. Yellowish, cat-like eyes. An overall monstrous appearance.
Sun effect: Cannot tolerate sunlight. Will slow down, get confused, and die from the UV rays.
Power Level: Enhanced strength and agility.
Healing ability: Enhanced healing.
Fatal wounds: Stabbed/shot in thymus gland (heart area) and prolonged exposure to sun.
Weaknesses: Sunlight and mirrors, which make them sad.
Unique Abilities: Psychic abilities.
Life span: Immortal.
Number 7
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Show)
These vampires have more benefits and drawbacks than the others, but in this universe, vampires are not reformed people, but soulless, reanimated corpses possessed by a demon. Therefore, if you were to become a vampire, you wouldn’t really be yourself and would not receive any benefits.
Transition: Humans must be drained of all blood, drink some vampire blood, die of blood loss, then rise hours later at night.
Relationship with blood: Vampires need blood to survive, and both the vampire and their victim find the experience pleasurable.
Appearance: Vampires will either look human or take on a transformed appearance in which their face is made more monstrous with changed eyes, enlarged brow ridges, and fangs. As vampires age, their transformed face becomes more deformed and unchanging as they forget how to look human.
Sun effect: Death by combustion.
Power Level: Enhanced senses, agility, and strength.
Healing ability: Rapid healing.
Fatal wounds: Wooden stake through heart, fire, sun, decapitation, and drinking holy water.
Weaknesses: Wood, holy objects, and garlic.
Unique Abilities: Potential rare abilities appear in certain vampires. They can’t enter homes uninvited and they don’t have reflections.
Life span: Immortal
Number 6
Van Helsing (Movie)
As a Van Helsing vampire, life is fairly decent. The transition is simple and they are naturally hardy beings. They have two forms they can choose from, and even through one of those forms is a large demon bat-like humanoid, it does mean that they are one of the only vampires on this list that can actually fly.
Transition: A human must be bitten by a vampire.
Relationship with blood: Vampires must drink blood to survive and the bloodlust severity is unclear.
Appearance: These vampires have two forms, either a human appearance or that or a fear-inducing bat creature.
Sun effect: Direct sunlight will make them combust.
Power Level: Superhuman strength and agility.
Healing ability: Rapid healing.
Fatal wounds: Sunlight, decapitation, severe heart or brain injuries, and extreme blood loss.
Weaknesses: Unspecified.
Unique Abilities: Transformation into a bat demon and subsequent flight abilities.
Life span: Immortal
Number 5
Dracula (Book)
For this evaluation, Dracula himself represents vampirism and not his sires. Dracula ranks higher on this list due to the immense benefits of his powers. Sunlight does not wound him and he can only be killed by one kind of attack as far as we know. He has many supernatural abilities, making him a formidable foe. The biggest drawbacks to Dracula vampirism are a multitude of specifics rules such as not being able to exit a coffin that has a rose placed on top of it. This is the highest maintenance and highest powered vampire.
Transition: Dracula himself is rumored to have received his powers through dealing with the devil, but he can turn humans into vampires through a bite.
Relationship with blood: Blood rejuvenates Dracula’s powers and he cannot survive without it. The blood lust is uncontrollable.
Appearance: Vampires have fangs but no other physical changes from their human form.
Sun effect: Sunlight neutralizes Dracula’s powers, but causes no burning or death.
Power Level: Incredible strength and agility.
Healing ability: Invulnerable to most attacks.
Fatal wounds: Stabbed in the heart. Other methods unknown.
Weaknesses: Sunlight.
Unique Abilities: Dracula does not cast a shadow or a reflection. He can defy gravity, for example walking up walls. Possesses shapeshifting abilities and a wide array of other super natural powers.
Life span: Immortal
Number 4
Interview with a Vampire (Book/Movie)
These vampires are one of the most straightforward on this list. They can only be killed by fire and the sun, and they spend the day resting in a coffin where they don’t sleep, but actually lie dead until night comes again. So, if being dead in a coffin half the time doesn’t bother you, then this is a pretty fair kind of vampire to be. It’s also one of only two vampires on this list that are made more attractive through the transition.
Transition: A human is drained of blood, drinks vampire blood, dies because of it, then awakens as a vampire.
Relationship with blood: They will crave blood but can survive a very long time without it. The drinking of blood is noted to be pleasurable for both the vampire and human prey.
Appearance: Beauty, fangs, and pale bright eyes.
Sun effect: Fiery death and turned to ash.
Power Level: Superhuman strength, senses, and emotions.
Healing ability: Vampires can heal from anything that doesn’t manage to kill them.
Fatal wounds: Sunlight, fire
Weaknesses: Consuming dead blood, fire, sunlight, being drained of blood.
Unique Abilities: Vampires over 1000 years old will gain extra abilities and strength.
Life span: Immortal and they get better and stronger with age.
Number 3
Supernatural (TV show)
What makes the Supernatural vampires outrank Interview with a Vampire vampires is that, while they are both fairly similar, Supernatural vampires can survive sunlight. These vampires have most of the default advantages such as immortality and strength, but what’s even better is that becoming a vampire doesn’t change who a person is on the inside and the only outside change is a nasty second set of retractable, shark-like teeth.
Transition: A human must drink or have blood-to blood-contact with vampire blood to begin the transition and drink human blood to complete the transition.
Relationship with blood: Vampires crave blood and need it to survive.
Appearance: When a vampire is about to feed, long, thin, sharp fangs grow out and layer over their normal human teeth. Otherwise, they appear human.
Sun effect: Their eyes are sensitive to sunlight, but it can’t kill them.
Power Level: Enhanced strength, senses, and agility.
Healing ability: Can heal from most injuries except for loss of limbs.
Fatal wounds: Decapitation.
Weaknesses: Blood from an already dead being.
Unique Abilities: They like to gather in groups and mate for life.
Life span: Immortal
Number 2
Vampire Diaries (TV Show)
Though Vampire Diaries vampires can be killed in multiple ways, always crave blood, and have a few regulations such as not being able to enter a private home uninvited, they are one of the best kinds of vampires to be. When a human becomes a vampire, they are essentially the same person that they once were now with amazing power. They can control the minds of humans and have supernatural strength in all areas. They can also be moral and choose to not kill their prey, allowing for vampire/human friendships.
Transition: A human must drink vampire blood, be killed, reanimate, then drink human blood within 24 hours otherwise they will die again, for good.
Relationship with blood: Vampires will crave blood at all times, but some are better at self-control than others.
Appearance: No change upon transition. They look normal unless they are about to feed in which retractable fangs emerge and they get dark veiny accents under their eyes. Though by coincidence, every vampire on this show is incredibly attractive.
Sun effect: Fiery death.
Power Level: Supernatural speed, agility, and strength coupled with more sensitive hearing and sensation.
Healing ability: Can recover from any non-fatal wounds and they are immune to sickness.
Fatal wounds: Wooden stake in heart, ripping out heart, decapitation, prolonged exposure to sun, burning to death, and a werewolf bite.
Weaknesses: Vervain (a herb) and wood.
Unique Abilities: Controlling humans with mind compulsion. Healing humans with their blood. The vampire’s personality will be amplified compared to their personality as a human. Can’t enter homes without being invited. They can shut off their humanity by choice.
Life span: Immortal
Number 1
Twilight (Book/Movie)
Twilight vampires are the best kinds of vampires to be and my mind can’t be changed on this. Becoming a vampire only amplifies the beauty, personality, and abilities of your human self. You might have superpowers unique to only you. The sun won’t burn, and so as long as you’re fine with being a disco ball in the sunlight you don’t have to live in darkness for the rest of your immortal life. The only downsides are a painful transition and the need for blood though the latter is pretty par for the course with all vampires.
Transition: A human must be bit by a vampire to be infected with their venom. The transition is excruciating and lasts two to five days.
Relationship with blood: Their cravings are intense enough for it to be tough for them to be around humans without feeding but not impossible. When thirsty, their throat burns uncomfortably/painfully.
Appearance: Pale skin. Incredible beauty. Eye color that is either red or gold based off of whether they ingest human or animal blood. No fangs.
Sun effect: Sunlight is harmless to these vampires, instead it makes their skin sparkle.
Power Level: Increased strength and senses. Granite-level durability.
Healing ability: Mostly invulnerable. If for example an arm is removed, it can be reattached without trouble.
Fatal wounds: Being torn to pieces and set on fire.
Weaknesses: None.
Unique Abilities: Certain vampires can be gifted with supernatural abilities including: mind reading, future vision, elemental powers, and other offensive and defensive powers. Cold to the touch.
Life span: Immortal
Honorary Mentions
The Count von Count (Sesame Street)
The Count is reminiscent of Dracula, complete with cape, castle, and a specific accent, but the most unique thing about this vampire, is his love of counting. The Count’s love of math isn’t as random as you might think since many instances of folklore refer to a vampire like creature that can be thwarted with rice due to their insatiable desire to count; they will spend the night counting rice instead of hunting in the nearby villages.
Count Chocola (Cereal Box Mascot)
Count Chocola is a version of Count Dracula, but this Count is devoted to selling yummy chocolaty cereal during Halloween. Therefore, he is always worth mentioning
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