Spoilers ahead for Thirteen Reasons Why
For the original review click here
Discussing Rape in Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
There are two rape scenes in Thirteen Reasons Why, but in my first reading, I only thought there was one. The reason I didn't recognize the second, Hannah's, is a disturbing reflection of how rape and consent are defined in our society. I didn't think Hannah was raped because she didn't say no, not because she didn't say yes.
I did see the first rape for what it was. Hannah did too. Hannah was at a party crying in an upstairs bedroom trying to collect herself when a drunk Justin and Jessica stumble into the room, not seeing Hannah. Justin lays the barely coherent Jessica down on the bed and tries unsuccessfully to get a sexual response out of her before he gives up and leaves her to lay there Before Hannah can leave as well Bryce, a senior at their high school convinces Justin to let him have a few minutes with Jessica before he heads out. Justin does nothing to stop him and neither does the horrified Hannah who's hiding in the bedroom closet at this point. Byrce proceeds to rape Jessica who is awake and blackout drunk. Jessica was unable to give consent. This act I clearly labeled as rape. Jessica could barely stand or speak and was clearly taken advantage of. Yet later that night Bryce would go on to rape one more girl, Hannah, and I wouldn't notice.
Hannah accepts an invitation to join a Courtney and Byrce in a hot tub. They are all in their underwear, and when Byrce makes sexual advances on Hannah she doesn't say no. Courtney leaves Hannah and Bryce simmering, and Bryce turns up the heat and all the while Hannah doesn't say no. Her narration repeats this fact over and over saying that she never pushed him away or told him to stop. She does describe how she cried and turned away, immobilized and already so deep in her spiral toward suicide that she felt already dead. Her body language said no, but since she didn't say no or try to fight back I assumed she had consented, but a lack of a no does not mean yes.
After finishing Thirteen Reasons Why I came across an article about the rapes, plural. At first, I was confused, wasn't there only one rape? Then I was appalled that I had forgotten the basic definition of consent: saying yes. This is what the author Jay Ashler had intended when writing the rape scenes. The girls don't say no and they don't say yes, but rape isn't defined by a lack of "no" but by a lack of "yes". Asher wanted to show the difference:
“I wanted guys to be uncomfortable when they read it, and both the book and the TV show made a point of noting that Hannah never says no,” he said. “Because that’s what we always hear, right? ‘When a girl says no, she means no.’ But there are plenty of times when a girl’s afraid to say no for various reasons, and it doesn’t mean, ‘Oh, as long as they don’t say no, then everything’s fair game.’ You need to be a better person than that.” (Ashler).
We all need to be better people, and I won't soon forget what I've learned from Thirteen Reasons Why. We need to work together to remember that there aren't "blurred lines" when it comes to consent. Ask if the other person is consenting. If they say yes then that's a yes. A no is a no. But silence is never a yes. Be the better person.