"I'd like to bite that lip"
Fifty Shades of Grey
by E. L. James
Book porn is a thing. You have probably encountered one of these hidden, dog- eared books before. You can judge these books by their cover, for they almost always have the same image; a hunky shirtless man sporting a six-pack with wind swept hair and one arm around a swooning woman. These books almost never make the bestseller list because like regular porn, they have terrible production value and aren’t ever the subject of dinner conversations. However, one of these books did make the bestseller list and has sparked a lot of buzz. It even got a movie. And, yes, like all of you, I am talking about Fifty Shades of Grey.
So how did Fifty Shades of Grey slip through the cracks? It’s an incredibly straight forward plot. Christian Grey had a “rough start in life”, and now he’s a smoldering twenty-eight year old billionaire heading a successful company and being interviewed by college senior, Anastasia Steele. He’s interested, she’s interested, he pursues her, says he’s bad for her, she doesn’t care, tries to change him, and then there’s a lot of sex before this tired old plot concludes. Overall this story seems like nothing special, making the transition from book to movie pretty smooth. Fifty Shades of Grey could have been forgotten along with all the other cookie cutters of the genre, but it wasn’t, and there’s a reason.
Let’s talk about the sex. Last Valentine's Day millions of guys and girls flocked to the theatres to see a movie about sex. Fifty Shades of Grey boasts 20 minutes of sex with more nudity and boobs than "Game of Thrones". And, to be clear this is not, as Christian Grey would call, “vanilla sex". The tone is set when he states, “I don’t make love…I f***… hard”. That means whips, bondage, and an actual sex dungeon, aka “the red room of pain”. Clearly this whole book/movie must be a fantasy if a girl, after being stalked, sees a man's “playroom” and doesn't run screaming. She does not run…but there is screaming.
To give an accurate review I had the unfortunate task of watching this movie in its entirety. You know you're in for an awkward time when the ticket taker at the theater looks at you and your friend and says, “You two don’t look like bad girls.” While the shame was real, I couldn’t blame him for this reaction, for I had read the book and knew what I was getting myself into. Or I thought I did.
While “sexy” is one way of describing Fifty Shades of Grey, what people may not realize is the other, less advertised word, “dark”. The leading man is not only obsessed with sex; he’s obsessed with being dominant. Its one thing when he says, “I don’t do romance”, but it’s another when he expresses a desire to punish and control Ana. His behavior is abusive and cruel. And while his spankings may seems to be just a sex act of a rougher kind, it’s acutely disturbing and perverse when he strips her clothes off and proceeds to belt her as she sobs loudly.
This gives the book more dimension, and is most likely the reason why this book accumulated so much momentum. However, this makes me wonder what the implications of a possible changing American sexuality, and if Fifty Shades of Grey marks a step forward or backwards. But that's another story.
Another motif in this book is a contract. That’s right, a contract. It’s about as sexy as an iTunes Terms and Agreements. The entire book/movie is about Mr. Grey trying to coerce Anastasia into making an agreement that would sign away a majority of her rights. If she were to sign she would be an actual “sex slave”. Pages and pages of the book are spent outlining this relationship agreement. You know who else makes relationship agreements? Sheldon Cooper from the "Big Bang Theory". Paper work is not sexy, please stop. While Christian's contract covers many different topics, most of them sexual guidelines, it boils down to what “the dominant” will or will not allow “the submissive” to do. These rules even extend to what foods she is permitted to eat. While seeing the characters in the movie discuss whether or not to include anal fisting in their agreement may be a turn on for some, it remains to be the story of an extremely unhealthy and oppressive relationship.
Therefore, next Valentine’s Day I recommend flowers and chocolates, and not paperwork.
